Officer Development School is now something that will forever be in my past. Certificate in hand I will never stand on the training side of this place again.

• I will never jump at the sound of “Senior chief on deck.”
• I will never be told to drop.
• I will sleep forever more inside my sheets, not on top of them.
• I will not be forced to wear a reflective belt going to and from the head; just in case there might be a run away Mack truck coming through the barracks.
• For that matter I will not be required to call a restroom a head (though I still might).

It’s the little things in life.

Monday (September 13) not a whole lot had changed after our weekend of liberty. We were still spending most of our days in briefs and taking care of individual concerns with our next duty stations. The one big surprise however was the revelation by our Senior chief that after 1600 we had full liberty every night, we were at last moving into normalcy. This we soon learned was very abnormal for ODS as typically after hours liberty only began on Wednesday of the final week. I guess even the blind can find their way occasionally.

Tuesday and Wednesday were more of the same until Wednesday at about 1700. I had learned through the grape vine that we would have liberty to see our families Wednesday night if they happened to be in town; Mine were. Angela and I had talked about the possibility, though I was not sure if it would be something I would be able to do as my section had watch that night and I wasn’t certain I could pull myself away even for a few hours. At the end of the day I was able to see them and Angela and I decided to keep the kids in the dark so I could surprise them. At about 1745 I called Angela and made my way to the Navy Lodge where they were staying. Angela saw me first and we lit up at the sight of each other, the kids were oblivious, their backs turned to the khaki sailor walking towards them. I caught my son’s eye when I was a mere three feet from him and he simply turned, saw me, took a step backward and declared matter of fact “It’s daddy.”

I lost it; quiet tears that had not been there for 5 weeks, flowed joyfully as I knelt down grabbed all four of my kids in my arms and just held them, regaining my composer and drinking in their embrace. 5 short weeks compared to the far greater sacrifices made by so many serving our country and yet still the joy of reunion is just as sweet. Daddy’s little girl in the span of about an hour became daddy’s little girl again, we hadn’t missed a heart beat. Four hours latter I was saying goodbye for one final night away from my family, headed back to my perfectly made rack in King Hall. As I lay on top of a firmly made bed I relished the short time spent with them, anxious for the next 24 hours to pass.

Thursday was a day of checking out, gathering our records, packing our bags and one final graduation practice. By 1100 I was back with my family again, free until 1730 (5:30pm) to spend with them as I saw fit. We ate lunch, played at a park and watched T.V. (what is it about kids and hotel TVs?). The Graduation Reception that night was a blur. I rose early Friday (0430, though at this point in my life that’s pretty normal), from I might add a more comfortable bed at the Navy Lodge and walked in the early morning dark back to King Hall. My family still fast asleep, I was heading to morning chow one last time with Zulu Company.

Graduation itself was a surreal experience at most. All the countless hours spent marching in formation, practicing for this moment, were cast aside forgotten as we marched tall and proud before a gathering of wives, children, parents, sibling, grandparents, and friends and family there to mark the occasion where ordinary citizens became extraordinary servants.

It is no small thing to willing give the very last of yourself towards an ideal.  And yet here we stood, proud, resolute in our offering. As time passes though so did that moment and we move on, changed. As a family we found ourselves in a car headed towards Providence, RI for a weekend in each others arms before the next journey in my call towards Navy Chaplaincy began.

In His Grips

Chaplain Carson

I arrived here Sunday, at 1000. Early, I thought would be the order of the day. After all the motto goes: “Early is on time and on time is late.” That’s all well and good but someone forgot to tell the lodging office of this great high calling towards punctuality. Our rooms would be ready around 1400, our ability to excel, our strive for excellence had backfired. And now I had to wait. Myself and two other Chaplains who would be in class with me wandered Fort Jackson on foot on a blistering Sunday that seemed at odds with the past 5 weeks we had experienced in New Port, RI. Down here it was HOT.

Four hour later we checked into our room. Correction, this was not a room but rather a small mansion compared to the lodgings in King Hall. I had in my possession now a small studio apartment complete with a kitchenette. This was the high life indeed. After a short run to the commissary for basic groceries that would take me through the first week I hid away in my room working on my uniform and getting it ready for Monday morning. Turning in early I wondered what the next day would hold.

I found out soon enough as the day for the most part held paperwork. The Navy was at it again, trees were dying and I was the cause of it all. Well myself and 24 other chaplains (25 in all) who would be joining me on this grand adventure through Basic Chaplain Training. Monday was for the most part a day of administration, Paperwork, weight-ins and drug screening. Basically; are you getting paid, are you healthy and, “lets make sure your not using your pay to buy illegal substances.” We met our Gunnery Sergeant, who has been in former days a Drill Instructor for both Marine Corp Recruits and Marine Corp Officer Candidates, (I began to channel Full Metal Jacket, before I actually met the man). While he strikes me as a very likable individual it doesn’t take a great deal of imagination to see him turning up the intensity to epic proportions when required to motivate some lost wandering soul, who happens to have stumbled into his direct line of sight. He will make Marines, err I mean Sailors out of us yet. Monday ended well enough with the first order of business the next day being our Inventory Physical Fitness Assessment (PFA), bright and early at 0530.

At 0530 Tuesday Morning 23 of us gathered in the darkness at the appointed place. Now if you happen to have an eye for detail (and in the military you must), you’ll notice that the class was comprised of 25 students and yet only 23 of us were gathered there. Interesting that you should pick up on that. The fact did not escape us either, nor did it escape our GySgt, or the Class Officer, or the Director of Training, or the X.O. Nor in fact did it escape the C.O. Two our numbers were lost, so lost in fact that it took them 45 minutes to find us. Have you ever had a Monday that would never end? I think for me going forward Tuesday is my new Monday. That incident compiled with a few other “mishaps” put our class in a very deep hole digging our way out, striving to prove that we belonged here. To say that there was some level of disappoint in the staff concerning our initial impressions would be an understatement of almost biblical proportions.

Our crimes?  Failing to look out for fellow classmates, failing to maintain proper military bearing and failing to find out need to know information before the appointed time.

Our Punishment? Off-base liberty secured. PT days moved from 3 day per week to 5. Uniform of the day on Weekends, NWU until farther notice.

The Lesson?  Rise or fall as a team. In all honestly though I hate being restricted one thing the Lord has taught me and helped me see in all of this is to find the good in every thing. In every trial, ask the question, I mean seriously ask it; “What are you teaching me in this Lord?”

So what have I learned? I’ve seen two sides of a Chaplain now, the compassionate one, which is easy for most of us called to this, and the Standard Bearer (which was modeled astoundingly well by the reaming we received Tuesday after noon chow), the one who holds your feet to the fire when necessary, and I’ve filed it away for future reference. I’ve also seen what can happen when one person is different from the unit, chaos can ensue. I’ve learned that freedom is a privilege that can be taken as easily as it is given, and must be earned, watched, tested and fought for. I’ve learned that P.T. is good for you, and a GySgt’s idea of a brisk workout is vastly different from my own (though I admit I think I will love the results if I live that long). I’ve learned that above all however, His grace is sufficient.

And so trial aside, I am joyful. My days begin with the shaping of my physical body in a type of arduous routine that will harden me for the days ahead. After a quick bite and a shower the rest of my days are full of briefing that apply directly to my call. In ODS I was learning about the GI Bill and Divisional Leadership which though they may abstractly help are hard to connect to my current call, now I’m learning about Chaplaincy in its core which absolutely fits every part of who I am.

This week alone I’ve learned about: Constitutional Authority, Founding Documents, Chaplain History, Ministering in a Pluralistic Environment, Deployment, Command Religious Programs, and much more. I’m surrounded by men (there are no women in my class) who like myself feel called to this purpose and yet as I am, are strangers in this culture learning the customs and idioms with the help of a certain GySgt, and the ins and outs of what it mean to be light and salt in a culture apart from the one we grew up in from a staff of chaplains that have “been there, done that.”

I am very much a stranger in a strange land now, but with time I will make this culture my own and while I may one day be a standard bear of those customs, even now I am a Standard Bearer of His.

Not I But Christ

Chaplain Carson

Its been about 10 days since my last update and though the days still seem to blur together there are some moments that stand out in my mind as highlights to our time here in training country. Yesterday was one of those moments: The new class began to arrive around noon and it is part of our duties to bring them up to speed and prepare them as much as possible for the coming days. We saw ourselves in their eyes; many of them with no prior experience showing up to a place that is as strange to them as foreign shores. I remember well wondering who exactly I was addressing when I checked into King Hall for my first day at ODS. Now coming full circle I realize I was simply looking at myself, 4 weeks matured. The student becomes the teacher, such is the way of the Navy.

The new class is, as we were, excited, anxious and slowly gaining a camaraderie that will carry them through those first trying days. At the same time we, as a class, have shifted our focus away from this place, with the last big hurdle being graduation itself, most of our days are now filled with the details of the coming weeks as we transition into our first duty stations. We have learned what this place has to offer and so we pass on what we can and look to future days.

A quick recap of the past few days:

Last weekend we had liberty in town (essentially we got three days off due to the long weekend). Summer whites were the uniform of the day and made us stand out brightly against the backdrop of tourists. We were in essence part of the scenery, being stopped regularly to pose for pictures, constantly thanked for a service to country none of us felt like we had yet to earn. At one point someone confused us for a local cruise ship crew or members of the Coast Guard; In good spirit we corrected them on both accounts. We are proud to serve in this Navy of ours, for many of us that Khaki has rooted itself in our blood: We are Navy, wearing the colors of our service with pride.

Tuesday most of the class participated in a fire fight trainer. I was still recovering from having 3 teeth yanked out of my mouth so I was medically unsuitable. I honestly felt fine but better wiser men and women made those choices, so I spent the day wandering the P-ways of King Hall looking for things to do. Just an aside, boredom can set in at this place from time to time as your weeks progress. Bring reading material or at the very least something to do.

Wednesday, in groups of 20 we went through the Wet Trainer, AKA the USS Buttercup. The Buttercup is an indoor trainer of a small section of a ship that floats in a pool and “springs” various leaks, ultimately sinking the ship. Think titanic meets amusement park and you get the general gist of the exercise. A LOT OF FUN.

After 2 hours of introduction we met topside and got a brief overview of our team make ups. I wound up being the On Sight Leader (The officer in charge; making all the decision about how best to accomplish the tasks at hand) Not the most enjoyable task. I was constantly questioned by my superior (one of the staff member) and given a constant deluge of information by the other 19 officers with me. Whether I succeed or failed at the job was something I never quite understood because I was informed that “I fell down a ladder and died” thereby giving another shipmate the chance to lead. I was then moved to the I-Team (much like the A-Team but instead of kicking butt and taking names we patched holes in the floor of the ship – a noble task indeed – if not quite so glorious.)

Once our team was set into motion the deck hatch we needed to shore up was four feet underwater. By the time we finished shoring it, it was 6 feet underwater and 20 minutes later. I personally spent about 15 of those minute underwater as close to the deck as possible as my team mates handed wood (which floats) down to me and then stood on said pieces of wood as I positioned them. We finally did shore it up, but at that point the ship had fully sunk and we had all drowned or abandoned ship. Our instructors gave us a B+ for leasons learned and we left the trainer soaked, exhausted and ready to try again.

On Friday I took the Basic Officer Curriculum / Fleet Officer Curriculum (The BOC & FOC) the only written test we will take here. Passing is 70% and you take it until you pass (it is relatively easy if you pay attention during the briefs and I passed on the first attempt – in fact I think our entire class passed onthe first try)

On Tuesday we began our leadership briefs which will carry over into Monday, aside from that our class room time here is done and most of our time will be squaring away last minute details to detach from Officer Training Command and move on the next part of our careers, some to further training some to their ultimate duty stations.

I’m currently sitting in an internet café in jean, flip-flops and a t-shirt, enjoying a day of full liberty, meaning I have the day to do what I want as I see fit. Desert is back on the menu after 4 weeks of no sweets, including soda. Friday I had Tiramisu, which was the best Tiramisu I had ever had! And who knew that jean could be so comfortable, abet a bit larger then the last time I tried them on. I’m shrinking still, talk about high school skinny – join the navy!

As I write this I am reminded of yesterday morning, September 11th. Our class gathered around the flag pole for morning colors to render a salute to that symbol of the country we hold so dear. As the Ensign rose sharply in the brisk morning every eye focused straight head, every hand raised in a poised salute as the resounding anthem of our nation echoed across the silent day. The swell of pride, the recall of memories of that day clouded our minds and in each of us something caught in the back of our throats, some primal need to honor those fallen, to protect those left, to serve those yet to come charged us all emotionally. As the last note play all salutes dropped in unison, and for a moment no one moved. For an eternity we stopped, locked on to a day 9 years ago which shook a nation to it core, and as the moment passed we moved on, stronger, more resolute, determined in our course. We are United States Naval Officers.

Four days until we move on from this place, graduation looms on the horizon a beacon we aim for. The time here has been short, but dear to us all. I pray we take the training to heart, that it in turn leaves its mark on us preparing us for the days and years ahead. Much as a senior looks in anticipation of a life ahead full of dreams so do we. That Khaki is very much apart of who we are now; Citizens and servants of the greatest nation on earth.

In His Grips

Chaplain Carson

Ah the wiles of navy life.

I was asked recently by one of my shipmates (a term of endearment for fellow ODSers) if I was considering career.  It was very much a loaded answer especially with our current training temp here in what is unofficially referred to as training country. We are all tired, there are some evolutions that none of us see the real point in, and by and large there is a constant comparison between ODS and the Fleet, by priors (those who were once in the ranks of the enlisted). Everyone is tired of the pace and no one quite feels comfortable with the constant level of alertness we all have to maintain for our LCPO (the Senior Chief responsible to get us fleet worthy).

So with that disclaimer aside, or in spite of that disclaimer, I respond with a resounding yes. This life suits me, at least insomuch as I can piece together the part that will carry over into the fleet. The stressors (those menial tasks designed to draw attention to certain styles of doing things) will not carry over to the fleet. I will be allowed to sleep past 0400, I will eventually eat what I want, when I want. I will not have to stay in uniform until 8pm. Not everything is done on 24hour time, etc. But the parts that stick: the air of professionalism, the attention to detail, the appearance of crispness in the man and in the uniform, the swell of pride in the National Ensign (the flag – that military word of the day is free btw) – those speak to my soul. All of these coupled with the individual call to serve the men and women who have dedicated even a few short years of their lives to protecting the rights of others makes my spirit answer that question with a resounding yes.

So aside from reaffirming in my own mind the call to serve what else has gone on this week?

Sunday was a liberty day which was basically a chance to sleep in again to 0550, as well as the opportunity to take an afternoon nap. (Have I mentioned I have a new love affair with sleep?) When we arrived the prior class kept warning us to sleep all day that first Sunday as it would be that last real sleep we would get. Oh, how naive we were. So if you’re headed here and you would heed any words I say, heed this – SLEEP, by all that is dear and good – sleep!

Monday was business as usual, briefs and PT, incidentally I’ve actually lost no weight but the gut that I brought with me got lost somewhere along the way. So the extra chub I had on me is being replaced by something I haven’t seen in years. I’m not quite sure whether I need to see a doctor about it or not, because it’s clearly not natural for a chip-munching American not to have a doughnut circling his midsection.

Tuesday was a fun-filled day of overseas screenings. For those of you who are in operational billets or headed overseas, get ready for some fun. It’s really not bad – just tedious. Unless of course you’re me and then they do things to you (fun, diabolical things) – like schedule you for oral surgery to remove wisdom teeth that have been perfectly content to remain harmlessly meek in the recesses of your mouth. Apparently wisdom teeth are evil, and in a deployed setting reek havoc on your ability to perform your job. (Interesting fact: Dental is the number one reason that soldiers are medivaced out of theater during deployments).

At some point during week 3, ID cards are issued, in theory – I’m still waiting on mine because some wild howling monkey crashed the system (at least that’s my theory). I’m hoping to get it done in the next few days but who knows if that will happen, (remember that surgery I talked about – it’s tomorrow and there is no guarantee I’ll be anywhere near sane until Saturday – I think they dope you up pretty good).

So Wednesday (today!): Summer whites inspection was today. I missed out for dental work and had an interview necessary for my gaining command, which by the way you will have happen. As training progresses, you will peel off from your company from time to time to take care of individual items of need with your record, assignment or whatever else the Navy has decided you need. I’ve missed some great briefing because of it, but fortunately every brief is available in PowerPoint online. I think the Navy invented PowerPoint or is a stakeholder in Microsoft because, the way they use it, clearly they have some investment in the sell of the program.

In the AM I’m having my wisdom teeth pulled (3 of the evil scoundrels, to be precise) so who knows when I’ll be lucid enough to post again. Until then, let me close with a brief list of things I wish I had known/brought up to this point.

 1. A camera, you can’t really use your phone for picture taking as its well…your phone, and you aren’t allowed to use it.

2. Memorize everything you are told to on the website prior to showing up, you will be well ahead of the curve. (I stare blankly ahead at chow while my shipmates are trying to cram more knowledge into already overwhelmed, exhausted minds)

3. Envelopes, there are plenty left over, HOWEVER bring STAMPS, you will want to write, even if it’s just a tool used to stay awake during briefs. Try it, it works.

4. Buy 3 pairs of PT gear (not just the mandatory 2), you’ll thank me later.

5. When at the uniform shop there is a hanging organizer for all your ribbons/pins etc…. BUY IT.

6. Don’t over pack civilian clothing. You will secure them and your luggage in a room at the beginning of your time here and, as of yet, we have yet to get it back.

7. Bring or buy on Sunday a small container of dish soap. Your water bottle will be with you 24/7 and can get nasty if you don’t wash it.

8. Come in shape. Please, for your own benefit, prepare your body to pass the PFT with a GOOD/LOW standard before you arrive.

Overall, realize this is a training command and from the moment you get here to the moment you leave your playing a game you don’t know the rules too. What I mean is this: Your LCPO, your class officer and everyone involved is working off a very exact script. They are not here to make you hate them, or to torture you, they are here to drill into your core and bring out the best in you. They will challenge you in just about every way: mentally, physically and spiritually. They will push you to your limits and beyond. And when you look behind you and see your limits long since exceeded, then you will begin to see the forest instead of staring at the trees. There is a big picture here, don’t get so caught up in your pain that you can’t see the purpose.

After all this is Training Country 

Soar on Wings as Eagles

Chaplain Carson