Epiph-a-ny: (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.

I ask forgiveness ahead of time if, number one, I don’t make much sense and two, if you’ve already arrived at the conclusions I did this week. The funny thing about epiphanies is they are often very unique to an individual, especially concerning those divine in nature. They speak more to the soul of the one experiencing them and often get lost in translation as we try to share our new insight with others. And yet at the same time, as with any new found knowledge, we are compelled to share our new insight.

Surprised to find myself at 29 Palms this Easter season (3/6 was moved forward rather quickly due to OPTempo), I was unprepared to preach not once, but 4 to 5 times weekly (to companies of Marines at different positions throughout the base), as the role of a battalion chaplain in garrison is more or less a 9-5 job. However finding myself “in the field” I take on the role of pastor as well to those Marines and Sailors not able to attend their local church.

This past week’s service, was one of the moments when God so reveals a sacred truth that it, if allowed to germinate will change the very core of who you are. It was, in short, for me an epiphany. Granted, I’ll not assume for a moment that the words I spoke shook the foundations of anyone’s world, but the words spoken into my heart as I prepared the message dropped me to my knees first in despair, quickly followed by pure joy.

This then is what I learned the best way I know how to convey it:

Isaiah 1 is well known for God’s discourse with the nation of Israel as they go through the motions of a Law set in place by God himself. And yet God says multiple times how much he hates the very actions He himself called into practice. The Law then appears pointless.

Jumping ahead to Romans 7, we find Paul talking about this same problem with the Law and in verse seven reveals the very nature and reason of the Law, to point out sin, to show us the very plague that leaves us under the power of death. Knowing this truth is, so far, a basic Christian doctrine. The law falls short.

Jump again to Hebrews chapter 10 and we find the point of despair as we learn quickly that the Law being merely a shadow of a greater reality can never make perfect. Read that again: even if from birth one could keep the Law perfectly, he still would not be perfect, because the Law does not have the power to make one perfect, it is but a shadow of a greater reality.

There is a story told in Plato’s Republic of a group of men who from birth had been chained in a cave in such a way that all they were able to see was shadows cast on a wall from an opening in the cave behind them out of sight. One shadow, that of tree was their only understanding of the tree, and so as they spoke of a tree, they reasoned, in their ignorance that the shadow of the tree was, in fact, the very tree having no understanding of the third dimension or the texture of the bark, the softness of the leaves or the aroma of the spring blossoms. They perceived in their limited minds that the shadow alone was the reality and not merely a shadow. Chained as they were to the wall they had no power or understanding that the life they knew was merely a glimpse, a shadow of something far sweeter.

The Law is our shadow tree, and through it we begin to understand Isaiah 1 in light of this revelation, that the shadow by itself is nothing. So what then is the reality?

Love.

Love is far greater than I believe any of us ever realize. The Law is built in its crude form on duty, a desire to appease, the need to perform based on pure honor. Love on the other hand is, at its purist form, non-quantifiable. It permeates the very core of who we are, it become the why behind every action, every thought, every moment of a life lived in pursuit of Him who first loved.

1 John 5 says loving God is obeying His Law and it not being a burden. When was the last time you thought it was easy to do the right thing all the time? And yet there it is as plain as day, the law becomes easy under love.

I think our problem is we are still under the assumption that the shadow is the reality. Still shackled to a wall in a cave, we see dimly as through a mirror. I Corinthians 13 talks about this greater way. In fact the last statement of chapter 12 says just that, “I will show you a still more excellent way.” Then we move into the famous love chapter assuming that it’s about love of others, love of husbands, love of wives, when in reality, it is the very heartbeat of every act of God. “The greatest of these is love” is not just a catchy saying, it’s the very dimension of God that moves us from the realm of Shadow into the brightness of the day.

When as a child I thought as a child, reasoned as a child and spoke as a child. So when my parents told me not to play in the street I was oblivious to their reasoning even as they spoke to me of the dangers. Instead I obeyed the law of “thou shall not” because I needed to appease my parents so I would not face their wrath, the dreaded spanking or timeout.

When I became a man, I put away childish things, such as the reasoning and logic of a child who understands half-truth, shadow on a wall. I matured in understand in began at last to see the intent of the “thou shall not.” An intent not based on abstract arbitrary rules but one based on love.

And yet still, wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of sin. Who will free me from the shadowlands, living under the power of sin as it crushes my body under the dictates of the law? Praise be to God, Christ died destroying forever the shackles that chained me to the wall of sin, and I see at last the point of it all was love.

The Law then becomes alive, an outward manifestation of an inward reality. The inward reality? My spirit lives and loves because he made me alive. What was dead in sin now lives in love. The cross of Christ instilled me with the very power to conquer: the Love of God. The Law brought to fulfillment through the cross becomes a life lived in love.

So as you click on the next link or move to next moment of your life I would ask this question:

Are you living your life under the law, as to appease a disapproving parent?

Or

Are you living your life under the banner of love, grateful for the watchful eyes of a loving Father?

In His Grips

Chaplain Carson

[Note: The date should have been April 9, 2010, but his wife was a bit slow in getting the post from the email to the blog...Sorry!]

The desert is an interesting place in general and one I think I would enjoy living in for a season. Granted it would be slightly different from my current circumstances (my living room is a 8’x4’ tent, which also serves as my bedroom, great heating and AC depending on the current temp outside) but, nonetheless, as I’ve stated previously, the scenery is gorgeous. That’s not to say the desert doesn’t have its mood swings, it does. Point in fact; on Monday it was 90, today it’s 38.

One week in the field down, four to go. It’s been an eventful week for 3/6 with a few hiccups along the way, as well as some awesome training. We are, for those not yet aware, at 29 Palms deep in the Mohave Desert taking part in the grandest war-game of them all: EMV (Enhanced Mohave Viper); a series of training events designed to both test and prepare a battalion on the verge of deployment. It is the last main evolution 3/6 will take part in before our push into Afghanistan in early June.

Life can move at a snail’s pace and at the speed of light out here depending on the day. I heard once that war is boring. I’m beginning to understand the validity of that statement now. Tuesday I sat at a firm base (a fort – sort of) for the entire day with 2 cooks, a 1stSgt and my RP until a convoy could take us to the rest of the company we were attached to at the time. The trucks pulled up at 6pm, 12 hours of me time is a bit much for anyone, especially with no books, electricity, etc., basically nothing to do but wait. On the other hand, Wednesday I got to watch 3 platoons do a live fire range (shooting real bullets). The first platoon started at 0730 and it was 1400 (2:00) when the last one wrapped up, for me that time period elapsed in what seemed like 30 minutes. Time itself seems to be a fickle thing out here.

Crazy firsts for me:

• Shaved in 38 degree weather with cold water – you know, just for the fun of it.
• Slept on gravel – not as comfortable as it sounds
• Slept with a hat and gloves on – didn’t help, still cold
• Carved a toothpick out of a 2×4 – serious Tuesday was that slow.
• Prepared the Lord’s supper on a rock – this was really the highlight of my week.

On a more spiritual note, I’ve had four field services this week with total attendance being a good 50 Marines and Sailors. More than I hoped for considering all the training they are engaged in. I’m finding the men are seeking me out looking for that piece/peace of God in the midst of wrapping their minds around the gravity of what this training is preparing them for.

The young men new to the battalion are experiencing a kind of wake-up call as IEDs (Improvised Explosive Device) comprised of powder are exploding underfoot covering them in a grey ash driving home the point that the next time it could be real. The Coyotes (the technical term for trainer, I believe) are great at what they do, some of the actors in this grand farce are so realistic that the Marines, at the time, forget the guy missing a leg is not actually dying but just an amputee that is acting the part, covered in the kind of makeup you see in Hollywood.

Which brings me back to my point: people need the Lord. Nowhere is it more clear to me than on the verge of this war my Marines are headed to that they are seeking hope from any source they can find it. And the beauty of it all is God has so designed this thing called chaplaincy in a nation that seems to be at war with God that the very thing we try to marginalized is the very thing these guys crave the most – a God who is real.

A presence in the midst.

Granted 50 out of 1500 is not much, but the light is there: and out of 12 Christ touched the nations. I may, at times, be seen as a conduit to a good luck charm. God is considered nothing more than a lucky rabbit’s foot by some, but after all don’t we at times even as Christians treat Him the same way? I find encouragement in the fact that even the ones not in attendance at services understand the power of the Creator.

He is drawing a people to Himself and it’s incredible to see it happening in this place and across these circumstances. I pray it continues and I play the part He has for me faithfully.

In His Grips,

Chaplain Carson

I’m currently sitting on a cot, inside the BAS (Battalion Aid Station) as I write this in what amounts to a wood structure that is crude at best. It’s amazing to me to think that this is the highest echelon of medical care the battalion will provide. The floor is dirty, the instruments crude, and yet doctors and corpsmen will work out of a facility like this to provide care for men at war. There is nothing new here, this has been done for centuries, there are no high tech modern conveniences of the great American healthcare machine in this place. Simply men who with the God-given talent they possess come with various reason to serve the marines of 3/6. Some of them will even walk in step with the marines as they carry out the patrols, the first responders.

I leave today for a week away from the creature comforts of the main Firm Base. Comforts like electricity and, to a lesser degree, Internet.

Some things which you would assume we have are already lost to me, like running water, showers, a real bathroom, clean clothes, food that doesn’t have a half-life of 1000 years and a bed. No, I’ll sleep on the ground for the rest of April, wear the same set of clothes, take no shower, and make do the best I can with what’s around me. The field is, in short, either peaceful or boring depending on your take.

I begin my circuit today of the companies that make up our battalion. Imagine preacher on horseback, take away the horse and there you have it; the role of a battalion chaplain. I will live out of a backpack for the rest of this month, staying in one place long enough to minister to the marines and sailors through a worship service and counseling. The amazing thing about this life of a vagabond is that I’m looking forward to it with a childlike wonder. Ask me in a few months and I may feel differently, but for now the ability to bring God’s Word without all the distractions is incredible. I do communion at almost every service as I find it brings a certain level of sacredness to the moment, setting apart the half hour or so from the rest of the week. There are no stained glass windows or pipe organs here, your Sunday best is usually removing your cover (hat) and Sunday morning worship can, at times, happen on Tuesday at 2 in the afternoon.

The simplicity of the worship experience out here is convicting. I’m learning, in-spite of how free-thinking I am, that worship of God really is at its heart just a matter of worshipping in spirit and truth – all the other visible are irrelevant. God is continually reminding me that His will is sufficient, and He is and has given me an incredible gift to be able to minister to these men.

May I be equaled to the task as I rely fully on Him.

In His Grips,

Chaplain Carson

“Play with us!”

I enjoy ending my days with the arms of my children wrapped around me with calls of,

“pick me up!”

“tickle me!”

And with four children it can, at times, get very rough, especially with two boys. One of the most remarkable things I’ve discovered as I get down on their level and wrestle around is my 21 month old daughter doesn’t really like how rough we play, but she absolutely loves being as close to her daddy as possible. So instead of wrestling with the rest of us, she will snuggle as close to me as possible as a storm of chaos wages across my back. As the other kids dive bomb me, she will sit as best as she can on my lap with two fingers in her mouth cheerfully content that no harm will come her way, in spite of the insane amount of destruction that I’m being bombarded with from all side. She has hid herself in me, completely trusting that I will protect her from the torturous action of her brothers and sister.

And I recall, in those moments, the words of David “Hide me in the shadow of your wings, from the wicked who do me violence, my deadly enemies who surround me.” And I am taught, through the innocence of a child, the implicit trust in the Lord. It’s an amazing thing to trust in the Lord.  There is a segment of the world that seems to think that trust in God is a blind, cavalier attitude towards the dangers of the world. Simply speak His name as you rub a lamp and He pops out waiting to grant your wishes of safety. There is danger in that mentality and often it is the way leading to destruction. The small child hiding in the shadow of her father understands this, she knows that outside the calm center there wages a whirlwind of violence, despair and heart-ache, but living in the shadows of His wings, we find security.

This idea that God will keep me safe comes with an understanding that I will live in His shadow.

Psalm 18 refers to God as my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, and many of us know the principle theme of God’s protection by heart. What we fail to realize is that Psalms 18 has 49 more verses, and it is within those thoughts that we find that the reason that God is David’s hiding place is because David is seeking the righteousness of God, wanting to know Him more and be known by Him.

The point?

God is immutable, and no one can come against His will, but our sense of security in Him only begins to come into being when we realize that we must draw close to Him as a child to her father in the midst of the chaos that is life.

You will never feel the security of God as long as you remain at a distance from Him. The danger, however, of living in the shadow of His wings is that you have allowed yourself to come within reach of His arms. And those whom He protects, He changes.

And after all isn’t that really the problem we all seem to have with God, He changes us.

So live in the shadow of the Father, but be careful…

You’re in tickle range.

Joyfully in His grips

Chaplain Carson